Let the music drive you
I have been concentrating on slowing down and mellowing out. Lately I was too on edge, engrossed in the endless tirade of news, slop content, and other echo chambers. I would read the news, from different sources, then check the validity of claims, articles, stories. That would lead me down rabbit hole after rabbit hole, a warren of information, misinformation, disinformation where I would get turned around to the point of being lost. In retrospect, that was the point. Being lost. Being overwhelmed. Being confused on purpose.
I decided to proactively shut down the news feeds, mute accounts in the Fediverse that only cultivated noise, focus on being present instead. This shouldn’t be taken as a new-age digital detox; I simply decided enough is enough. Whatever garbage was making its way into my system was unnecessary. I didn’t need it. It didn’t serve any positive purpose in my life. So, with difficulty, I cut it out. Instead of reading newsfeeds, I reread books (slowly). Instead of scrolling, I work on puzzles. Instead of getting pissed off at everything, I step back, consider, reflect, redirect. This seems simple and self-evident, but it isn’t. It’s hard. It takes work.
I took my reflection one step further, analyzing different parts of my life that may have impacted me negatively. Where else was I pissed off all the time? What activities grabbed hold of me, shook me, telling me “c’mon man: yell, scream, get mad!” Driving! Ever since Covid, and in parallel with me becoming more and more of a curmudgeon, people have become terrible drivers. They are less skilled (ignoring basic rules, not using signals, cutting vehicles off, earbuds in ears), more entitled (signaling doesn’t mean you have the right to the lane, and honking is not a fundamental right), and more aggressive (tailgating should be considered a cardinal sin). Add in larger vehicles (how many people need an extended bed pickup truck or a 10-passenger luxury SUV?) plus the general malaise affecting the world and you have a toxic situation. Keyboard commandoes have nothing on steering wheel commandoes. And if you make an honest mistake, say not realizing you are in a lane that merges ahead, none one will understand, slow down, nod politely, and let you in. That Ford would rather slam into you, push you into the median, than obey the rule of the zipper merge.
Although I don’t drive a huge vehicle, I have to admit that my driving style was less gracious than it should have been. Drivers had to pay for the sins of their mothers and fathers; I wouldn’t let you in since you, or someone I imagined was related to you in some obscure way, didn’t extend the same courtesy to me. Honk. Gesture. Curse. Repeat. And all the while, in the background, the soundtrack was heavy, pounding, aggressive.
I love heavy music: metal, post-metal, hardcore, death, black, etc… I always will. But I have noticed that the effect of the music, coupled with the idiots on the road around, was amplifying my aggressive tendencies. If you can put on a good tune, powered by blast beats and growling, and NOT have a tendency to hit the gas a little harder, you are a stronger person than me. So I made the conscious decision to change. Now when I drive in the city (let’s leave highway driving out at this point) I load up an ambient or classical playlist. Just last week, during rush hour, with a storm pending, darkness heavy and tangible, lighting and thunder threatening, I chose a harp instrumental over the obvious choice of the newish Lamb of God album. The vibe in the car—and maybe outside—was incredible. I immediately, and I mean IMMEDIATELY, felt mellower. My urge to yell was reduced to a penchant to chuckle at the surrounding idiocy. I never reached for the horn. I (almost) didn't curse (once, under my breath, but the egregious infraction demanded it). But most importantly, the drive felt peaceful. Even though I was bumper to bumper at some points, navigating infuriating roundabouts, sloshing rain from the windscreen, the music calmed me. The vibrating strings... the soulful chords... the perfect combination of silence and sound... it all calmed me. And, I am sure I imagined this, but everyone seemed calmer. The entitlement lessened. There were fewer one-finger salutes. No one blared their horn for a ridiculous amount of time.
Or nothing changed, except my experience of it.
I tried again, this time with an ambient drone set. Time slowed. Traffic flowed. My blood pressure stayed nice and low. Or nothing changed. But my experience did. There was no denying that the drive was less stressful and almost enjoyable. Could the music actually make that much of a difference? I am certain there are scientific studies on the topic, and a plethora of wellness explanations. But I don't want to dive into yet another series of tunnels trying to explain it. I just want to slow down, mellow out, and enjoy the ride.
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